Sex Humor Jokes

I took my fingers and slowly, gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.
I licked it once, twice... I found I couldn't stop. I
licked it faster and faster, and harder. I began ...

The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, ...

A man walked into the drugstore and shyly asked the pretty girl working there if he could buy some condoms. Seeing his discomfort, the girl decided to have some fun.
She asked what size he ...

A man goes to the doctors and says "Doc, you gotta help me!"
The doctor says "What's your problem?"
The guy says "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning flagpole'.. I give the ...

A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe stuttering problem.
After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient.
Doctor: 'It appears that the reason for your stuttering ...

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", ...

Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked his friend if he had heard of the new sex position called rodeo. His friend says no, what is it?
Well you mount your wife from the back, reach ...

1.) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.
2.) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, ...

1. You can GET chocolate.
2. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4. You can safely have ...

Three guys go to a ski lodge. There aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream last ...

A guy on a date parks and gets the girl in the back seat and they make love. The girl wants it again and the guy obliges her. She wants more and they do it again. She still wants more and the guy says ...

Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as ...